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Thursday, January 27, 2011

2011's Top Five Cardinal Stories

I've been thinking about working on this UCB post for awhile now, but haven't really come up with anything worthwhile. Someone (not naming names since I don't remember) made it sound like I could write something sarcastic and completely nonsensical. Score!

So without further ado, here are our top five stories for 2011:

1. Adam Wainwright will win the 2011 NL Cy Young. Okay, this point is obviously legitimate. I really do believe Waino capable of beating out the fierce competition in the National League to take home the Cy. There are a lot of incredible pitching staffs floating around the senior circuit, from the Phillies on the east coast to the Giants on the west, not to mention the Reds, Brewers, and Cardinals in the middle of the country. There are big names like Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Zack Greinke. That said, I think Wainwright can match them, pitch for pitch, out for out.

Warning: That was probably the last 'prediction' that I actually think could happen. The rest is for my own entertainment.

2. Yadi starts a brawl in Cincinnati when Johnny Cueto kicks him in the shins during warm-ups. Who knows why he did it. Cueto that is. Yadi beat the crap out of him, and we know why that happened. Don't mess with Yadi... especially not his shins. Watch your back, Reds' players...

3. The amount of scrappy and/or gritty references made about the Cardinals infielders on various blogs, highlight reels, radio shows and Twitter will quite possibly reach infinity. Good grief. Every new player that has been signed this offseason (with the exception of Berkman who is definitely not the right size or shape to be considered for either) has been labeled with one of these two monikers. Theriot? Punto? What is this? We already had both of those guys, except they were Brendan Ryan, Aaron Miles, and/or David Eckstein, respectively. Can you have too much scrap or grit on one team? The Cardinals might be pushing the limit. Quick, someone find a big slugger to hold together the infield! It would help if he has a good contract that makes him a Cardinal for life.

Wait, what's that?

"Pay me my money."
Yes, sir! Get on it Mo!

4. All of our scrappy/gritty infielders come down with bird flu and Tony LaRussa, in a moment of desperation, begs that Mo undo's the trade with the Mariners for Brendan Ryan. A stretch? Sure. Don't look at me. Erika penned this one. I mean... it could happen.

5. Kyle Lohse's arm will fall off. Again... it could happen (but Erika says I should be nice). He's never known a normal injury for a pitcher, whether it was getting a broken wrist while batting, having an injury only known to long distance runners and motocross bikers, or coming down with that frustrating condition known as crap-itis. Oops, that wasn't nice. My bad.

Let me be perfectly honest - I want Lohse to do well. I hope he becomes the best fifth starter in the National League. But in my mind, the odds of him doing well compared to his arm falling off have to be about even by now.


Open in Mobile AppIf you're interested, check out the new UCB app for iPhone and Android by clicking on the little icon to your left. It's shiny and NEW! Also make sure that you check out the archive of all the Top 5 stories for this month's UCB project here.

Baseball season is almost here... just hold on a little longer Cardinal fans! :)

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