A Cardinal Fan's Guide to Miller Park

I don't want to talk about what I missed last night. It upsets me. I spent the evening in Milwaukee at Miller Park. Why? Long story short, my school was given tickets, and 1 came to me, so I made the trek to spend the game surrounded by adoring 5th graders and gossipy soccer moms. Thrilling. 

Instead of telling you too many gruesome details about the Brewers/Pirates game I witnessed, I thought I would use this post to give you a quick guide to Miller Park, especially if you're going with the other teams' gear on. Also, since I am starting this post at midnight, I'm way too tired to put this into coherent paragraphs, so you get a bullet list. Take it and like it! 

Still love ya, Jimmy, but it was hard to watch you out there.

• Brewer fans love them some Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder. I was under the impression that they were decently appreciative of Jim Edmonds as well, but those were Cardinal fans cheering for him a few weeks ago. Tonight? I was probably cheering louder than any Brewer fan there. Also, he's lost several steps in the outfield. Balls he used to pull in bounced in front of the warning track tonight. Sad. After that, the loudest sounds in the park begin when Trevor Hoffman comes in. Bring earplugs for that, because that was the loudest I've ever heard Hell's Bells. Hoffman's looked awful this year too. If you think boo's were raining down on Izzy in his rough patches... you didn't hear 28,000 people chewing out Trevor Hoffman tonight. They're screaming his name all the way in from the bullpen, and 2 minutes later the boo birds were out in full force. That was ugly.
• If you're interested in watching warm-ups and batting practice but not looking to score autographs you probably won't get, get to the gates just before the park opens 90 min before gametime. They let you in as long as you're going to TGIFriday's. To me - that's genius, because the food is actually priced normally, and if you sit outside you're hanging out right above left field. Bonus to this is you're right over the top of the (visiting) pitchers who come out to left to stretch and warm up their arms. You've also got a pretty decent shot at a bp ball, and the boys toss quite a few up in the stands/seating area for Fridays. A few weeks ago Holliday tossed us a ball that was just a shade too high, so it hit off the facade and bounced down behind the wall. It happens.
• There are usually a pretty good number of Cardinal fans there. Not quite the number that head to KC for the Royals' series, but you're not alone by any stretch.
• Brewer fans are nice until they're intoxicated, and they're willing to have a conversation with you as long as you're 'not as rude as those awful Cubs fans.' Many of them will tell you they trade in their Cubs tickets because the fans are so awful to deal with. I hear more horror stories about Brewer/Cub games with every passing game I attend. They really are that bad. But Brewer fans are pretty okay with Cardinal fans. Even last night, as I was the only person in the stadium wearing Cardinals apparel, no one said a word to me about it. 
• If you're going for upper deck, go for row 8, which is the front row of the upper deck. I found this out by chance a few weeks ago, and it was nice being in the 'front row.'
• Second deck seats in Miller Park are awesome. Sitting behind 5 rows entirely filled with the Madden family reunion is not quite as awesome, but the view is still really good. I've yet to find a horrible seat at the park, although looking through a bar that went horizontally right through the pitcher's mound one night wasn't fun.
• Buy tickets off stub-hub. That's a given, but most of the people in our section one night snagged tickets for 8 bucks each. You're not going to find that in St. Louis for sure. Last year's Labor Day game (Carpenter pitched a 1 hitter!) I had 10th row tickets for under 30 bucks.
• Vendors are decent, security is tight, bathrooms are clean. Seat jumping does not go over well, but it's easier than Kansas City.
• The next time you think about complaining/talking/commenting on the annoyance of the wave at Busch, just stop. I saw THIS guy (sitting completely alone - as in, his whole section of seats was empty) start the wave in the first inning last night. He then proceeded to start it every half inning through the bottom of the 5th, no matter what was happening in the game. During the top of the 5th inning alone, he attempted to start the wave over 9 times. How many was it? I don't know - I got bored after 9. Needless to say, St. Louis is not the worst city in the world on annoying wave starters.
• Either get out of the stadium ASAP, or just hang out after the game for an hour, because the parking lot situation is a disaster, as well as being completely trashed. If you managed not to run over a can, bottle, grill, bean bag, baseball, or other piece of trash, kudos. 
• Also, Milwaukee is a disaster area of a city in terms of highway construction. Take GPS and Google Maps and cross your fingers you don't get lost or detoured. If you St. Louis drivers thought 40 construction was bad, try doing the same thing to 70 and 270 - all at the same time. People that have lived there for 15 years are getting lost.

Again, I wish I could chat with you about the Cardinals game last night. I hope this will suffice!